Who Validates Me?
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. ”
One of the most-challenging emotional and spiritually mature acts is to find validation within ourselves and from God, and not from others. The confirmation we receive from others will almost always need to be earned in some way. Because we are sinful human beings, we cannot help but expect others to achieve acceptance. Since earning approval is part of the human plight, we feel we have to gain acceptance from and for ourselves if we are to feel fulfilled.
Koritha Mitchell, in her article in “Society” entitled “Refusing to wait for others to validate me,” tells her story of trying to find acceptance in the University system as a black woman. She describes how the black candidates for tenure had to produce more, while the white candidates didn’t need to fulfill the criteria to be successful. She faced the injustice of racial and sexual inequality by clearly naming it. She confirms, “My refusal to ignore the injustices that shape my profession has been my truest form of self-care.”
Ignoring injustice leaves us all weakened. Mitchell affirms that naming prejudice is a critical step in the process of healing and strength. Mitchell did not walk away from the unfair situation, but stayed and conquered it with discipline and dedication. She worked harder, received tenure, and then continued to address the injustice. While it may have endangered her new position, speaking out gave her more validation than the work of making tenure. Speaking out helps many more than just herself.
If Mitchell was seeking the validation of others, she would have kept her voice quiet and accepted tenure with gratitude. Instead, finding value within oneself, she recognized a greater calling—a calling to provide a just avenue for all people. When you learn to find validation within yourself and from God, the Holy Spirit will use you to make significant changes within and beyond. Seeking validation from other human beings just cannot make that kind of difference.
