God Will Find a Way
“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.” (Jeremiah 17:14)
As a parent, there are moments when you are sure you've scarred your children for life. That is why I never let my daughter speak at church. So, when I read an article by Dr. Brad Stennerson entitled "A Critical Parent Will Linger Inside Your Mind for Decades," I had to find out how badly I ruined my daughter's life. Sadly, I am angry with Dr. Stennerson for stating, "How a parent talks to their child becomes how that child talks to themselves. It can stay with them for a long, long time." I do not think I was a serial meanie to my daughter, but I am human and often impatient.
I want to say, "I wish I could do parenting all over again," but that would be a lie. If I did it all over again, I would probably do a little better job in some ways, but I would make some of the same mistakes and then make a few new ones. Darn it, I will need to rely on God to fix my daughter for the mistakes I've made. That isn't easy because we want what is best for our children, and the idea we could have done better haunts every good parent. Wanting what is best for my little sweetie and knowing I wasn't the perfect parent could break my heart if I did not affirm God's gracious forgiveness.
Then that darn Dr. Stennerson sticks a knife in my back again. He states, "When irritation guides a parent's behavior, they create an anxious, self-critical child. That anxious, self-critical child becomes an anxious, self-critical adult, and that adult is left with the task of repairing the way they evaluate themselves." Dr. Stennerson must love to kick a person when they're down! The worst part of the problem is that, rationally, I know Dr. Stennerson is correct in his parental assessment.
Parenting is a microcosm of our overall life. We are imperfect children of a perfect God. A commitment to perfection will only leave you in despair. We are all imperfect parents and have scarred our children in one way or another. I am also an imperfect child of our Almighty God. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God will heal our imperfections a little at a time on this earth and find ultimate perfection in God's heavenly kingdom. Likewise, God will take our mistakes and work on them until you, me, my daughter, and every other child of God are molded in God's image. Again, we will find perfection in the heavenly kingdom. God's intervention allows me to live with my imperfections and trust God will heal my daughter's tiny imperfections. Further, and as the circle of life continues, my daughter's imperfections are affecting my grandbabies; God will also bring healing and ultimate perfection to them. The same is true for all of us because our God is merciful and loving and wants what is best for each of us!
Dr. Stennerson, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!