Becoming an Honored Elder
An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. (Proverbs 18:15)
In several Asian nations, their culture has a history of respecting and honoring older adults. Unfortunately, revering our older adults is rarely the case in our American culture. In part, age alone is not a reason to respect someone. Some older people live pathetic lives and do not warrant our respect. Yet, even more cynically, our culture venerates youth. We are desperate to look younger with plastic surgery, act younger with testosterone enhancements, and a myriad of other gimmicks to cheat the advancement of years.
The sad reality of ignoring our older adults is that we often lose wisdom by ignoring our old folks. You can only learn some insights through the hardscrabble experience that comes with time and age. In “Things in Life I Underestimated for Way Too Long,” Darius Foroux shares his learning thus far in life. He begins by sharing that many underestimate “Where you grew up and live now.” When you are young (especially if you grow up in Iowa), you can think of nothing more than getting far away from home. Instead of waiting for life to begin, especially in an envisioned utopia, appreciate what your residence offers and use its unique opportunities. If you are intelligent and creative, you will not let its perceived limitations “box you in.”
Next, Foroux urges us not to ignore “The mistakes you’ve made.” Naturally, the older one gets, the more mistakes we make. If you haven’t made many mistakes, you aren’t trying hard enough. Foroux instructs, “Let your mistakes be teachers.” When I was young, I was so scared of making a mistake I turned my fear inward and felt anxiety. It was a waste of valuable time. Time is Foroux’s last example of what we can learn from our elders. Instead of his examples, I will share my own.
When I was young, time seemed to stand still, and my life on this earth would last forever. There would always be tomorrow. Only when you are older can you recognize the actual arc of time. Time starts slow and seems endless. As you age and your children leave the nest, time speeds up, and it quickly becomes finite. Each tomorrow is more limited than today. For example, I fear I can no longer ride my bike outside anymore. My back no longer appears to allow it. But, with my physical history, I knew the time would come. An older person can encourage the young to appreciate and take advantage of each day as a gift from God.
Today, seek someone older than yourself and make an appointment for a visit. Do not inform the person you are visiting that you expect to learn wisdom from them. Instead, ask them about themselves, their history, and what they value. On many occasions, these informal visits have been great blessings in my life, where I learned the most significant lessons. Then, contemplate the time you have left, and ask God to illuminate your path so you can see how you can spend the rest of your days on this earth making a difference in God’s name. Then, in your older age, you will be worthy of the term “honored elder.”