What’s Your Motivation?

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

In college, my acting professor would take the cigar out of his mouth and yell, “Scott, what is your motivation? You know anger is a secondary reaction.” Anger is always a reaction to something deeper we are feeling. We experience anger when hurt, embarrassed, disappointed, or a hundred other emotions. We cannot take control of our anger until we understand the underlying emotion beyond the action.

In his article “If anger controls your life, you need to read this,” Alex Mathers reminds us that “We’re the ones directing the show.” If your anger is uncontrollable, you are choosing to lose control. Perhaps one of your parents or someone you respect acted out angrily; you mimic their behavior without knowing the underlying motivation. Mathers challenges readers to focus on “The wise use their aggression.” We do not need to feel guilty for angry emotions, but our response to the feeling is our responsibility.

Being an emotionally healthy person is hard work. Sliding through life, and reacting to situations with feelings rather than rational reflection, results in giving your control to anyone who can push your buttons. Many people give their minds and actions to others multiple times every day. Historically, men use anger as a sign of strength and power. Unfortunately, quite the opposite takes place. Anger gives the one who ticks us off control. The person we are trying to intimidate becomes stronger because of our lack of control.

Mathers informs us, “The wise use their aggression.” We can raise our voices but with control and purpose. My mother was under five feet tall but controlled her high school classroom. If she yelled, the youth would laugh. Instead, she used her superpower. She had a look that could burn through steel. She would speak slowly and quietly. It regularly caused the disruptive kids to crumble. Her control also scared the hades out of her sons more than once. Prayerfully ask God to guide you through your emotional challenges, so you can remain faithful and retain control of your mind.