Thank you, Simone Biles, for Reminding Us of Mental Health Care
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“Know this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
Like many of you, I spent the last couple of weeks trying to catch parts of the Olympic games. I was shocked to find Simone Biles withdrawing from the team event and some individual events as well. I cannot imagine what she went through. Not only must she have been frustrated with not competing after all her preparation, but Simone knew she must deal with the fallout from all the couch critics. Yet, focusing on her wellbeing first may have been the greatest gift she could have given our country and the world. Indeed, more important than a few extra medals. She has already proven herself as an athlete.
The Washington Post, in their “Wellness” section, seeks to address the issue of mental health in their article, “How to support someone going through a mentally tough time.” Simone Biles's picture appears under the title. The article recommends we who care “offer a safe place to talk and listen.” That sounds so obvious, but many people do not feel safe sharing their weaknesses. In a society that is constantly pushing people to “win,” knowing someone has a perceived weakness makes one feel even more vulnerable.
Next, “Don’t: Be pushy about talking or dispensing advice.” Unless you are uniquely educated as a therapist, your advice is suspect. Furthermore, most individuals do not want advice; they want support and a supportive listener. When you feel you must speak, “Do: Validate and affirm decisions.” Trust most struggling individuals know what to do, but they just need someone else to affirm what they already know in their pain. Then, “Ask how you can support them.” They know more than you or I do about their personal feelings. They just might see some way you can assist them. Don’t forget to ask.
Finally, “Don’t: Engage in toxic positivity.” What does that mean? Ever read a self-help book, and the author feels like a cheerleader who has never had a difficult moment in life? Don’t be that person! Well-meaning phrases or positive responses just make the person feel worse about themselves. Instead, listen, pray with the person and for the person later, when you are alone. Invite God to speak words of wisdom and provide acts of positive change. That is God’s job, not yours. Your job is to listen, affirm, and pray. When you trust God, you will invite God to make the difference in the person’s healing, not in your knowledge and wisdom.
