The Silence of Solitude
In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. (Luke 6:12)
As an extrovert, it’s taken me years to appreciate spending time alone for any extended time. Yet, several years ago, I took a week of Study Leave, went to a tiny cabin offered by a church camp, and hung out alone for a week of prayer, study, and rest. The beginning of the week started well. I was able to get uninterrupted work done. Yet, by day two, I was crawling out of my skin. So, instead of leaving the solitude of my cabin and searching for people, I tried to embrace the discomfort, reminding myself the alone time was not indefinite, and I could learn from my feelings. By the end of the seven days, I was ready to return to my family, but I felt comfortable being alone and a unique closeness to God through the experience.
In his article “Is It Unhealthy to Spend a Lot of Time Alone?,” Markham Heid addresses the science of solitude with psychologist Thuy-vy Nguyen. Heid and Nguyen acknowledge that loneliness is linked to several health issues. However, loneliness and choosing to be alone are not synonymous. Choosing to be alone for a time can be beneficial. “Time spent alone can enhance creativity and support metacognition, which is a greater awareness of one’s own thought processes.” Intentionally walking into the discomfort of silence with your thoughts can be transformative.
While loneliness is detrimental, “Unstructured solitude can help calm stress and emotional arousal.” According to Heid’s article, just 15 minutes can calm our “emotional regulation.” Even parents of young children should be able to find 15 minutes. Perhaps it consists of leaving your radio off on the drive home from work. On the other hand, it may mean waiting until everyone is in bed and silently sitting before you turn on the tv, or pick up a book. Think of occasional solitude as a spiritual practice necessary to a healthy life as brushing our teeth or eating our vegetables.
Solitude gives our thoughts room to evaluate without interruption or other people’s input. It is natural for others to want to persuade us to their understanding, and we need to know our own discernment. As people of faith, we believe taking time with our thoughts provides room for the Holy Spirit to influence our decision-making. If we give family, co-workers, and even people who frustrate us our ears, doesn’t it seem only fair to give God a chance to speak to us? Today, find 15 minutes to sit alone with your thoughts. Move through any discomfort and allow the Spirit to have your attention for a few minutes. Do not be afraid to let anyone else in the house know what you are doing. You are setting an example of self-worth and faith, and modeling the gift of solitude.