From Toxic Responses to a Healthier Life
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Life is difficult for all of us because human interaction is an imperfect science. Each of our mindsets is different in subtle ways. Every person uniquely looks at life because we have life experiences, unlike others. Each of our personalities and perspectives is akin to fingerprints. Our uniqueness means we regularly struggle to relate to others at a deep level. When our interpersonal relationships go sideways, and it is normal for them to struggle at times, it is common for our minds to set up mental blocks for emotional protection. Unfortunately, those blocks often have negative results.
3 Super Toxic Mindsets Most People Consider Acceptable, by Darshak Rana, outlines the characteristics of these negative mental blocks. The first mental blockage he describes deals with social growth. “Using The Power of ‘Absolutes,’” Rana believes is condescending and questions a person's integrity. An absolute “programs the brain in believing that certain people are incapable of delivering. Always!” Absolutes create extremes no one can live up to, including you and me.
Rana’s subsequent blockage deals with emotional growth, which he describes as “The Grass Is Greener On the Other Side” mindset. Rana describes emotional growth envy as “Thinking that ‘my life would be different IF circumstances were conducive (like that of others).” The blockage occurs because the person negatively compares their life to those of others. The key to overcoming envy is to look at those who have less rather than constantly focusing on those who possess more.
Finally, Rana’s third toxic mindset blockage is a mental growth blockage. The “I will Prove You Wrong” mindset. This blockage focuses on the narcissistic response of the ego run amuck. When we are insecure, We try to prove ourselves at the expense of others. It is important to regularly ask, “Why am I feeling this insecurity, and how can I respond with less defensiveness?” Rana recommends, “Change yourself if you feel its need; don’t do it because someone told you to do so or you want to prove yourself better than others.”
Today, prayerfully share with God your toxic responses. Not with an abundance of guilt because we all have our blockages, but trusting God to respond with wisdom and emotional clarity. Try remembering moments when you succumbed to the three negative mindsets and how each produced internal and external struggle. Then, silently pray, listening for God’s guidance as you seek to break through the blockages and face life’s challenges with courage and integrity.