Don’t Let People Live Rent Free in Your Mind!
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
I love the old phrase, “Don’t let people live rent free in your mind.” It is excellent advice, and I’ve tried to live by it, with mixed results throughout my life. So, when I came across an article by May Pang entitled, “Don’t Let People Live Rent Free in Your Mind-Here’s How to Evict Them,” I had to keep reading. Each of us should take responsibility for our thoughts. It is essential to let people in your mind, even those who do not have your best interests, but you must retain control of your thoughts and the emotions your thoughts create. Unruly people can visit, but they cannot move in.
May Pang helps us retain control over our minds to be our best selves with others. First, Pang asks us to focus on “Negativity bias.” We naturally focus on the negative. It requires practice and determination to focus on positivity and make our emotional lives more balanced and honest. Focusing on an equal number of positive moments creates “Availability bias.” Whatever you think about will continue to multiply. Supportive thoughts remain close to our consciousness, and we remain hopeful when challenges arise.
Now, when a chronically toxic person tries to take over your thoughts, there are skills to retain your credibility. Pang recommends you ask yourself, “Did you approve their application?” If someone takes advantage of your thought time, say, “STOP.” If you aren’t on a bus within earshot of the driver, you can even yell it out loud! Remember, you retain control of your thoughts if you do not give them up thoughtlessly.
Finally, “Check their ‘credit’ score.” Are the people who have taken up residence in your mind paying off their accounts? If they give and take, their emotional credit score may be high enough to invest in them. If they only take but never have time to give back to you, it is time to collect, and if they do not have anything to give, it is time for eviction. Today, prayerfully reflect on who has taken up residence in your mind. Ask God to give you the discipline to evaluate who has the right to take up your focus. Then, pray for the wisdom to respond faithfully in your conscious mind and the actions that affect your thoughts on how you react to the world.