Argh! The Little Things Make My So Angry
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he or she who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
”
I tend to handle life’s significant challenges reasonably well. Sadly, the little inconveniences and personal
slights can often get under my skin and create angst. Barely, a man and I struggled with paralysis, facing it head-
on. Someone can slander me to others and make me feel out of control. I am not alone. Often, the little things make our emotional fuse so short. Why is it that the dumbest little thing can bring us to a boil?
In part, I believe we are overwhelmed by little discomforts because they catch us off guard. For example, if something
horrific happens, we focus on it, get assistance, and consciously deal with it. However, when the irritation is minor, we do
not take the time to evaluate our thoughts, moods, and actions until we blow up, spewing our frustration in all
directions. In her article “Pick Your Battles,” Rima Parikh challenges us to “Choose which battles are worth
your energy.” To choose our battles wisely, we must be in tune with our emotions enough to catch ourselves
before exploding.
Yet, it is more than just staving off internal anger. Parikh continues, “Do not engage in battles that will waste
your time.” Interpersonal recognition and evaluation take time and practice. Begin by thinking about your
feelings throughout your day. When are you tense, and how does your body respond to tension? Who makes me
angry, and what seems to be the trigger? Who or what exhausts me? Beginning to ask these simple
questions helps teach one to learn about one’s own emotions.
Finally, learning about your emotions and their triggers is a process of wisdom that helps bring you personal
joy because you do not allow yourself to be emotionally manipulated as you have been previously. Anger and its cousins take
control away from you. Asking wise questions of yourself and learning your triggers will allow you to make
your own emotional decisions and no longer be manipulated by the emotional cesspool others may wish to
spew in your direction. Prayerfully seek God’s wisdom and calm in challenging times, and you will find the
battles get less frequent and less important. The angst becomes small enough for you to regain control of your life!
