We Can Stop Fooling Ourselves
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“The purpose of a person’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Life is rarely easy, and it is worse when we are not viewing the world around us with clarity. As a result, we make some problems much more significant than they are, while in other circumstances, we ignore a huge problem, thinking it too small for consideration. My first semester of college was atrocious. I had the lead in a college production and focused more on the stage than on my schoolwork. I was immature and hadn’t considered why I spent tens of thousands of dollars attending college. The theater was meaningful and beneficial, but I went to college to learn to be a pastor. I spent the following college years digging myself out of my first-semester hole. I continued to act but created a better balance between acting and studying.
My first semester left me maximizing and minimizing my decisions. I minimized my struggles by acting as if poor grades would not impact my college future. After receiving my first college report card, I maximized my thoughts by believing I had ruined my life. I had lost my internal balance and needed to see more clearly the direct results of my actions. A friend sat with me and helped me see the semester with clarity. He wouldn’t let me catastrophize or let me off the hook with cheap excuses. I went back to college, regularly evaluating my progress along the way, and made much better decisions for the rest of my academic career.
Thomas Oppong’s article, “2 Cognitive Distortions That Make People Miserable,” recognizes that “People who magnify and minimize pay too much attention to the worst-case scenarios in almost all areas of their lives.” The key is to be brutally honest with oneself and one’s life situations. When we regularly focus on honesty, when distortions rear their ugly head, we do not let them get too far ahead before we readjust our course to an honest reality. Clear reflection is the only way to trust ourselves and our decision-making. Genuine focus, according to Oppong, helps us move beyond worst-case scenarios and “start thinking about solutions instead.”
Today, prayerfully ask God for self-awareness, to be honest about ourselves and our surroundings. Until we can envision our situation correctly, we will not be capable of changing the world around us with Christ-like justice and care. Maximizing and minimizing life’s situations leaves us with a distorted outlook on life and faith. Stop what you are doing and pray God will give you the spiritual eyes to see the truth within yourself and in the world around us.
