The Sacredness of Parenting
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“And I will not be a burden, because I do not want what is yours but you; for children ought not to lay up for their parents, but parents for their children. ”
While I look upon all parenting books with a certain amount of cynicism, and I wish I could raise my hand and say, “What about this instead?” I appreciate what author Gary Thomas is going for with his parenting care book. I love the idea that his parenting book starts with the parent’s faith. It appears his thesis is “our own spiritual quest must drive our parenting.” Thomas addresses parenting from this primal motivation. Basically, Thomas reminds us that our motivation should not be to raise children we should be proud of. While that is a great side benefit, it shouldn’t be our primary motivation. Our task is to raise children who can be proud of themselves and have the strength of body, mind, and spirit to make their way in this world.
Thomas points out that, “If parenting were only about behavior modification, Jesus would have praised the Pharisees and kicked dirt on the adulterous woman.” Sacred parenting is about helping our children learn faith, love, and compassion. Like with God, the child doesn’t have to earn the parents’ love and care. The child is worthy simply for being your child – and God’s.
At first, this doesn’t seem like a big deal. Of course, the parent should encourage faith. Yet, what makes this revelatory, is that parenting tricks are replaced by fundamental motivation. The parent begins with the idea that we have something to learn from them. For example, I learned that I could actually be a good father without having a role model. The more we focus on learning to be the most faithful parents we can be, our children will grow up to be healthy. If the focus remains on the child, the pressure and obligation is on them, rather than on our parenting.
Today, pray for parents. It is the hardest job in the world. Pray that parents will focus on their spiritual growth as a parent, rather than on training the child to be the focus. Parenting is too tough to survive selfish motivation. Child-centered parents would feel resentful and stressed when their child makes mistakes. Pray for parents to be God-centered, who act out of reverence for God. That way, no matter how the child responds, God is calling you to move toward your child, engaging in their lives with loving support.
