Teaching our Children Empathy is a Christian Imperative

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

We want to raise our children and grandchildren to be emotionally healthy young people who become well-adjusted adults. People experience their faith more meaningfully when not hampered by emotional challenges. Today, I would like to address the causes and responses guardians can provide to support their young ones through the challenges of narcissistic behavior.

In his August 1, 2023, USA Today article, “Is narcissism genetic? Narcissists are made, not born. How to keep your kid from becoming one.” Charles Trepany provides support by providing three ways people develop narcissistic tendencies. The three developmental issues are as follows: “They are overindulged in their superficial attributes. They are under-indulged in their emotions. Or they experience trauma or abuse.” These three examples do not guarantee a person will become a narcissist, yet these remain characteristics narcissists have in common.

We cannot always control the pain children sometimes experience, but we can respond with appropriate care. Charles Trepany provides recommendations for parents, grandparents, and guardians to follow to assist the child in healthy emotional support. First, we are to “model empathy.” Our children learn from us, both through our excellent and unhealthy examples. Second, “Reward empathy.” If a child can be affirmed for empathetic behavior, they will seek the affirmation until it becomes second nature. Third, “Teach them to consider other people’s feelings.” Teaching empathy requires you to point out examples in everyday life. The more you nurture a natural conversational relationship with your child, the better listener they will become. Being conversational requires you to “Spend quality time.” Your example of empathy will not just rub off on them. You cannot assume they will just get it.

Trepany’s examples require “…quality, one-on-one time…”. What makes this a devotion rather than a child psychology article is the recognition that if we do not learn to be emotionally empathetic, we will be hard-pressed to learn and internalize what Christ is calling us to be. How can we pick up our cross if we believe the world was made mainly for our benefit? Don’t panic if your little one seems self-focused. It is part of the developmental process. Yet, that doesn’t mean we ignore it. Instead, we gently guide our children forward with our love, care, and empathy.