Stop Listening to the Negativity
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Life is hard enough without listening to everyone who has an idea about you. Almost everyone suffered in Middle School with who they were and what others thought of them. The talk continued as we got into High School, but it got a bit more nuanced with age. It doesn’t go away when we become adults, either. It can be worse in adulthood because the stakes are higher. The ability to hurt one another amplifies as we become more mature and intelligent—the greater our intellect, the more vital the need for the depth of self-awareness in our lives.
George J. Ziogas, in his article, “Why There Is No Point in Taking Things Personally,” reminds us, “What they tell you reflects their perspective and says something about them. Taking naysayers, or bullies, words to heart will only upset you. It won’t make you a better person. The way you react to them says something about you, though.” When we allow others to influence how we feel about ourselves, we give them control over our lives. As Christians, that is a subtle form of blasphemy. As people of faith, we affirm that only God should be able to guide our understanding of how we are in this world.
It is not easy to listen only to God’s voice. Ziogas continues, “Undue criticism and scorn only have the power to hurt you if they ignite fears already present within you.” Ziogas offers the example, “So, if it pains you to hear somebody say you’re stupid, their statement hits a raw spot in your psyche.” Rather than focus on the person attempting to belittle you, ask why they can push your buttons and why it negatively affects your psyche. Not addressing your hurt psyche can have long-term effects on your health and wellbeing.
The way through the painful journey of other people’s negativity toward you is not to shut them up but to see their hurt and emotional limitations so you can reestablish your confidence. When you prayerfully ask God to see people as they are and as you are, warts and all, you are better able to face negativity and embrace yourself as God sees you. God sees each of us as imperfect but perfectly forgiven and loved. If God forgives and restores you, how can you do anything other than love and forgive yourself, no matter what anyone else says!
