Responding to Emotional Pain
written by: Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. ”
“Some things are just sad.” I wish we could plan, evaluate, or even manipulate control over my emotions. Michele DeMarco, in her article, “When It Comes to Painful Emotions, Don’t Think-Just Feel,” is correct, “Some things are just sad.” In those overwhelming moments, whether the death of a loved one, a loss of a career, the despair of a marriage, etc., some things cannot be rationally worked through. Time and experiencing the sadness is the only way through.
That does not mean I am to sit back and wallow in my sadness. Experiencing painful emotions is an active process. For people of faith it begins and ends with prayer. Prayer is an act of trusting God with concerns great and small. Share your emotions, and when you cannot sort them out, trust the God can. Be as deeply honest with God about your emotions, fears, and angst. When you do, the sadness will feel less threatening and just a part of the process of healing.
As we live in our sadness, we are acknowledging all parts of ourselves, including our emotions. The more we live in our emotions, the less overwhelming those emotions become. As we can live in those emotions, we can also overcome the sadness with the recognition of other, more positive parts of our life. Rational thought will not do it alone. It requires a certain comfort level with our emotions, so they do not control us.
Today, pray for the courage to experience your emotions, especially the painful ones. Seek God’s wisdom, so that painful emotions are not just endured but processed and transformed. The more we face our emotions, the better able we are to help others face their own pain. If our children do not learn how to face emotion from one’s parents, how will they ever transform their suffering? Let them learn to face suffering and let it begin with prayer.
