A Theological Understanding of Friendship

Greater love has no one than this, than someone lay his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

I’ve been reading Miroslav Volf’s Life Worth Living. Dr. Volf is a mainline Protestant theologian widely respected in his field. I pay attention when he writes a book on how to live a life of faith. So, when he wrote early in his book about friendship, I was surprised. Yet, I shouldn’t have been.

From the earliest moments, the people of Israel were cared for by God as a people rather than individually. An individual’s faith and life were tied to the actions of the whole people. With the New Testament writers, we still witness a commitment to the community. Even Jesus, the second person of the Trinity, did not live the faith alone. He kept saying, “Follow me,” and called twelve apostles and thousands of other disciples to his side. The Apostle Paul forms churches throughout the known world. Community is central to our understanding of following Jesus the Christ.

Volk reminds us that the “Christian thinker and novelist C.S. Lewis distinguishes between mere companions and true friends.” For Lewis and Volf, a friend is “The one ‘who agrees with us that some question, little regarded by others, is of great importance,’ he says, ‘can be our Friend.” Lewis and Volf proclaim, “We need friends who will pursue it with us.” We can have acquaintances we share much with, but a friend shares and supports our deepest values. In the case of the faithful, we believe in honoring God with friends.

Today, consider the difference between acquaintances and friends throughout your life. Then, thank God for the past and present friends who have nurtured your faith, supported your life, and stood with you through life’s challenges. Spiritual friends are a gift from God and should be appreciated and treasured. Treat your friends as the sacred gift they are to your life and faith.