Is it Selfish to Focus on You?
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. ”
I swing from feeling called to self-care to being tired of the popularity and narcissism related to the self-care industry. According to a recent survey from Eventbrite and research company OnePoll, “The average American spends $199 a month—22% of their disposable income, or about $2,388 a year—on non-essential items to ‘treat themselves.’ Yet, just because people continue to try and improve themselves, often with little resulting transformation, doesn’t mean it isn’t a noble enterprise. On the contrary, when worked on with integrity, self-care provides an avenue to healing and wholeness.
God wants us at our best, so we can nurture our relationship with God and provide for the care of others. Self-care, like anything else, can be a negative or a positive, depending on how we use it. If we use self-care to feel superior or to free ourselves from the daily obligations of life, then it is negative. For example, losing a bunch of weight to lord it over others is an inappropriate motivator. Likewise, practicing meditation to such a degree that you choose it instead of proper care of your children is harmful.
Proper self-care is more than shallow navel-gazing. Self-care is a spiritual discipline allowing us to be our best selves, communing with God at a deeper level. Self-care helps us react beyond mere instinct, manipulated by the persons and situations in our midst. Healthy self-care allows us to take control of our minds and hearts. Self-care gives us the tools to take back control of our thoughts and actions and offer them to God for further wisdom and guidance.
Today, reflect on the self-care you’ve undertaken in the past. Ask yourself what provided meaning and what self-care activities left you cold? Then, consider how you could continue bringing wisdom and healing to your life by developing a new self-care activity. None of us are ever entirely, spiritually, self-actuated. We are always people of faith, in process. Prayerfully, seek God’s guidance as we seek to be our best selves, for ourselves and others. When we do, our relationship with God will continue to grow and evolve.
