Feeling Worthy in a Judgmental World
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
Many of the world’s ills occur because of an innate sense of unworthiness. For example, after World War I, the German people felt ashamed by their military loss and the perceived heavy-handedness of the allies at the Treaty of Versailles. A figure like Adolph Hitler manipulated the German people’s sense of unworthiness and shame to direct them to unspeakable crimes. Developing and nurturing a sense of worthiness within a person, community, or nation can empower, rather than embitter, saving others from inflicting pain on themselves and others.
Brene Brown, in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, explores the ways each person can address our feelings of unworthiness, so we can overcome shame and bask in the joy that comes with the sense of well-being. Brown includes three ways of cultivating worthiness. Number one, we are to nurture “ordinary courage.” She affirms that “brave enough to be vulnerable and honestly express who you are, and how you feel” is courageous but not superhuman. Each of us can convey this level of transformative courage.
Second, Brown requires us to enhance our “compassion.” She states that compassion is “being kind to yourself and others.” Kindness is something you can practice and improve upon throughout your life. And third, to experience worthiness, one must create “connection.” Brown defines connection as “an intangible energy when we form an open, judgment-free, and mutually sustaining bond with another person.” I would take Brene Brown’s definition of connection and take it one step further. This open, judgment-free, and mutually sustaining bond can be with God, as well as other human beings.
Christianity has to offer our society a sense of worthiness unapproachable in any other way. It is remarkable when you can have a friendship with a person who fosters courage, compassion, judgment-free, and mutually sustaining. Still, to invite someone to experience this with Almighty God is a million times more profound. God wants to connect with each one of us and allow us to feel worthy. Laws and commandments were not written to make us feel unworthy but to help provide the boundaries necessary to know how to relate to God in a way that will make us feel worthy of divine love and acceptance. Open your heart to God’s gift of worthiness, and then share this blessing with others so they too can experience the eternal joy of God’s acceptance and love.
