Do Not Let Someone’s Inappropriateness Steal Your Integrity
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“ Now, may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.”
Many dysfunctional people in this world get emotional satisfaction from creating chaos. Unfortunately, none of us who work with the public are immune. The challenge is not to allow their dysfunction to control our emotions or actions. When you start feeling angry and replaying inappropriate actions in your mind, stop and remind yourself not to let someone else take control of your life.
In theory, not wanting an inappropriate person controlling your emotions and actions is good, but it is not easy to address. Then I started reading Chade-Meng Tan’s book, Search Inside Yourself. Chade-Meng gives us a tangible way of taking back control from hurtful people. He states, “Imagine that you stop agitating the pot and just let it rest on the floor. The water will become calm and, after a while, all the sediments will settle and the water will appear clear.”
Most of us were not raised to find calm when others intentionally agitate our lives. Stopping does not mean we do not respond immediately. The agitator hopes we will respond inappropriately. It legitimates their improper and more flagrant actions. Stopping our agitation and letting it rest on the floor allows us to respond faithfully rather than reacting with anger or resentment. When the waters of our soul are calm and the sediments of inappropriate emotions relax, then we can respond faithfully.
Today, think about the moments when an inappropriate or dysfunctional person pushed your buttons. I am willing to bet each one of us has fallen prey to a person who sucked us into their nightmare and kept us focused on them rather than on what God intended for the present moment. Learning to stop agitating the pot and letting calm envelop us is key to taking back our control. Then, when the sediments of anger and resentment settle, we can prayerfully seek God’s guidance and direction as we move forward in addressing the situation faithfully. The more we can practice calm before action, the more we honor God even in moments of challenge or injustice.
