Developing the Ability to Say, “Hear I Stand”
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3)
I am rereading the old book, Hear I Stand, by Roland Bainton. Bainton brilliantly tells the story of the reformation icon Martin Luther. I read Bainton’s biography during my first semester of college and was awed by how obsessive he was and his dedication to his faith. When all around him thought he was wrong, he knew his faith and understanding of God. He faced the Pope and Kings and said he would not back down. He stopped worrying about what other people thought of him because he knew what he must do.
“How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You” by George J. Ziogas helps us face challenges when we believe others are thinking less of us. Ziogas begins with the advice we’ve all heard before, “realize you cannot please everyone.” This advice is so overstated because it is accurate and needs repeating. The ones we need to please are God and ourselves. If we believe God agrees with us, it is easier to face challenges from others. The paradox is we need to listen to the challenges so we are sure we are not part of the problem and we’ve molded God to fit our belief system.
Ziogras’ next heading is “Break Free from the Toxic People in Your Life.” I would like to address this issue from a faith perspective. Shunning toxic people is a last resort. It may be necessary, but not an early step in the relationship. Setting a series of boundaries for toxic people is essential, and then standing firm with those boundaries so healing remains possible. We must address toxic people, especially when they constantly influence our life. Providing several boundaries provides room for the toxic person to transform but also for you to heal if you must cut ties if the boundaries are not respected. It is painful to stand firm when it would be easier to let toxicity win.
Finally, Ziogas challenges us to “practice radical honesty and authenticity.” Easier said than done. For example, my wife knows to say, “Yes, Scott, you look great in those skinniny jeans,” especially when it is untrue. Ziogas is asking that we focus most of that radical honesty on ourselves. We cannot create proper boundaries or break free from inappropriate expectations when we cannot recognize our authentic selves. Only through the Holy Spirit’s long-term guidance are we to receive the spiritual maturity to address issues that help us no longer respond inappropriately to how others react to us. Our hard work and God’s wisdom will set us free and say, Hear I Stand.