Darned, If You Don’t, So You Might as well Do
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. ”
The act of caring is an emotional minefield. When people are hurting, they often lash out and blame anyone but themselves. However, people also deal with their pain in different ways. Some people pull inward as life’s punishments push down on them. Others reach out for communal support in their moment of need. The challenge for caregivers is figuring out what others require emotionally in each moment.
Rationalizing and arguing that inaction is always the best policy is easy. We tell ourselves, “Let the person come to us if they need help.” The problem is that half the time, people are angry because they didn’t receive the care they hoped to receive. While some of us rely on intuition, we cannot always read the other person’s non-verbal cues. Sometimes what they say isn’t what they desire. There are times when you make an offer, it is rebuffed, and later you are accused of not responding. It isn’t about you but their hurt bleeding into your life in those moments. Their lashing out is a misguided attempt to reduce their pain.
Thomas Oppong, in his article, “The Risk of Inaction,” challenges us to choose action. If you are going to be blamed either way, wouldn’t you rather be blamed for trying rather than for your inaction? Oppong quotes Harry Truman, “Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.” We should not let our fears lead us into inaction. Oppong continues, “Inaction in life comes at a price: missed chances and opportunities gradually eat away at our self-esteem and sense of worth.” Over time, not only does our inaction have the potential to disappoint others, it can diminish us.
Today, pray for God to nourish us with courage and trust. We conquer our fear by getting off our backsides and becoming more proactive. “Action is challenging at times once we make the decision to move forward, it tends to set things in motion in a positive direction for our future selves.” When we are actively doing our best, when we are questioned or even condemned, we will still be able to affirm our motivation and keep moving forward in faith and care.
