Buffer Yourself from Burnout

‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoked upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’ (Matthew 18:28-29)

Westminster is wearing kindness bracelets throughout the following year. Kindness is a Christian imperative, but it is not without its challenges. If the faithful are not careful, kindness can create crippling burnout. Kindness that leads to burnout is not the kind of care God expects. Burnout keeps us from making a lasting difference, and God needs us healthy for the long haul. Yet, burnout does not need to be a result of extreme kindness.

Recognizing the triggers for burnout is essential. For example, when your giving leaves you exhausted and testy, it is time to reflect on how you might address your caring so you may remain healthy. According to an article entitled “The Hidden Cause of Burnout Nobody Wants to Admit,’ by Karen Nimmo, one way to respond to impending burnout is to reflect on your responses. She says being a People Pleaser is the sure road to burnout.

According to Nimmo, “Here are the cluster of signs of a People Pleaser:

• You find yourself apologizing more than you should.You always ‘go with the flow’ when others’ suggest activities.

• You pretend to agree with others to align with them.

• When someone hurts your feelings you don’t say anything.

• You give up all your ‘me time’ for others, even at the cost of your own serenity and health.

• You tend to adopt the views/clothing/interests of others.

• You find it hard or stressful to say no.

• You go to great lengths to avoid conflict (being around anger makes you feel stressed or anxious).

• You find it easy to give compliments but hard to receive them.

• You’re always trying to anticipate others’ needs.

• If others are unhappy you feel responsible and/or guilty.

• You sometimes feel resentful you are doing all the work but you don’t know how to change it.

• You crave time to yourself but, in reality, you find it hard to get pleasure from your own choices.”

All of us do some people pleasing in our lives, but when our need to make others happy trumps our values and personal vision, we must prayerfully reflect on our decision-making. People of faith are complex individuals because we must always consult the Holy Spirit and because divine wisdom is conveyed for our consideration. To stave off burnout, write down your commitments and make sure they align with your vision. Be willing to say “no,” and when you feel the pinch of guilt, ask “why” you feel guilt. Finally, sit down daily, and carve out times for yourself. Offer God prayer, rest, and review. When you take time to make these activities a habit, burnout may occasionally hang around the edges but will not take over your life.