Becoming Comfortable with Ourselves
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Luke 12:6-7)
Becoming comfortable in my skin has been a lifelong challenge. In 9th grade, I remember one senior that everyone respected, including the teachers. He was the epidemy of cool. His family had money, and he drove a motorcycle when the weather was good and a nice car otherwise. He was a good student and a great athlete. I remember an all-school event in the gym. The music was playing, and he started dancing with a teacher in front of the school to applause and adulation. He made life look so easy. Only when I got older did I realize no one is exempt from this world’s discomfort.
Often, the more we attempt to come across as detached, the more pressure we feel trying to remain so. Our attempts to float above all earthly struggles promote more stress. Further, when others offer negative opinions of us, we create internal pressure to prove them wrong and leave our detached cool in place. Trying to persuade others of our comfortable life gives power to those who call us out or even insinuate we are anything less than perfect. We give them control if their challenges can affect our calm.
In his discerning article, “If you’re not totally happy in your own skin, read this,” Alex Mathers points out that pressure is only destructive. Mathers confirms, “And pressure is pressure. Pressure is unloving. It is not compassionate.” Mathers continues, “Pressure to be different. Pressure to NOT be the way I am right now. Pressure to act.” Suddenly, you start trying to run in five directions at once, trying to fix the unfixable.
For Mathers, the way to overcome the temptation to take on increasing pressure is “With self-love, an energy will rise in you to start making healthier decisions.” What I would like to add to Mathers’ statement is that what he calls “an energy,” I call the Holy Spirit. While changing our attitude and being honest with ourselves is beneficial, the way to see beyond the illusion of our intended perfection is through divine love and care. So today, pray for self-respect to be imperfect. You and I are made in the image of God, worthy because we are God’s child, not because we are beautiful, popular, rich, or clever. We are worthy because a compassionate and merciful God loves us.