Addressing Mom Guilt
When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. (Psalm 142:3)
“Mom guilt” is a real thing. My daughter is a wonderful mother, but she regularly second-guesses herself. She and her husband have two boys who are both trouble, in the best sense of the word. The boys are not perfect, nor should they be. My daughter regularly worries about how they are behaving. The worry extends beyond their behavior to whether she is doing everything “right.” No parent does it all correctly. Thank goodness we do not have to be perfect parents. We can trust God to overcome our shortcomings and bring wholeness to our children. When we obsess too much, we diminish our ability.
In the article “Every Day I Am Plagued With Mom Guilt,” Kim Fedyk takes mom guilt into the open so moms realize they are not alone. Fedyk points out, “A whopping 94% of moms feel parenting-related guilt.” You are not alone! She continues, “Only 50% of dads feel they aren’t doing enough as a parent.” Half is still high, but it confirms that overwhelmingly, moms take on more self-reproach.
Fedyk quotes Dr. Melissa Young, a Cleveland Clinic physician, who states, “There are so many subtle—and not-so-subtle—triggers in our society that pressure us into thinking we should be able to ‘do it all.” If you are a mom, 94% of you know the feelings Dr. Young confirms. If you are a husband or other family member, ask your family’s moms about their triggers so you can be more supportive. Often, we hurt those moms we love and experience defensiveness without realizing the hurt we introduce. Talking through the feelings is an integral part of healing.
Today, pray for the mothers in your family, past and present, and mothers worldwide. Be specific in your prayer and invite God into the process of mom guilt with those you love. If you are a mom, review your emotions and determine your level of shame and pain. Then, offer it to God. Allow the Holy Spirit to bring you the wisdom to see your motherhood decisions with clarity and grace. Not only is God calling you to forgive yourself, but also to celebrate the many blessings you’ve provided those you love. Celebrating your successes is vital to a healthy and truthful outlook on your parenting.