A Letter to God
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“…so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him—though indeed he is not far from each one of us.”
Dear God,
I must begin by saying “I’m sorry.” I haven’t lived my life well enough for others to want to follow in my footsteps of faith. I made being a follower of yours too painful, and not enough fun. I worked too hard in some areas, while not enough in others. This was less a mistake of judgment, and more a mistake of not following your guidance which is ever before me.
“I’m sorry,” because I thought your path was so difficult that I required time away from you, which is the greatest sin. I should have treated my life’s actions in such a way that having you with me every moment should not have felt like a burden. I wish I had developed a spiritual life so intense that every breath I have taken exhaled impurity and inhaled your Holy Spirit. But alas, no matter how hard I try, I do not find the spiritual discipline necessary to become truly one with you.
Yet, dear God, you did not make us to wallow in regret too long. After the recognition for our unworthiness and need for something beyond ourselves, we can turn to the recognition that you continue to care for us and provide new opportunities to transform our lives. As people of faith, our “sorry” must always end with “thank you.” Thank you for all the direction you have provided, and the ministry you have allowed us to participate in achieving. Even if we have spent far too much time ignoring you up to this point in our lives, at least we are able to say “thank you” for not forgetting us, but to live up to your baptismal covenant to remember us and call us home.
Today, dear God, help us find some time to reflect on our lives thus far. Challenge us to ask where our lives, require an, “I’m sorry.” Give us the faith and trust to offer them, and then move forward by also offering you the vitally important, “thank you.” Help us remember the times you have guided and even carried us. Then, remind us of your unending love and continued care. Finally, renew our commitment to at least try to breath in the Holy Spirit throughout our day. While we will never fully achieve this goal, even trying honors you and brings joy and peace to our soul.
