Replacing the Fake Self with Emotional Intelligence

“Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than a rich person who is crooked in his ways.”

(Proverbs 28:6)

He flies off the rails every time his wife questions his actions. She tears herself down every time her teenage daughter rolls her eyes in her direction. When the teacher calls on him, he breaks out in a sweat, and a wave of emotion overwhelms his ability to concentrate. These examples have one thing in common, a lack of emotional control. Without transformation, the man may move from screaming at his wife to beating her. If the mother does not develop confidence soon, her daughter will not generate an appropriate level of respect, which will ultimately hurt them both. Finally, if the young person does not learn to focus when approached now, it will be hard to become successful in his personal and professional life.

Our emotions are connected to our spirituality, so it would be inappropriate for us to ignore your spiritual self as we guide you in your overall development. We are physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual beings as humans. West, Oswald, and Guzman, in their book, Emotional Intelligence for Religious Leaders, affirm, “Spirituality is a way of life that affects and includes every moment of existence.”

As we deepen our emotional self-awareness, we release ourselves from the bondage of needing to maintain the façade of our “false self.” We also begin to accept the love and grace that God freely offers us and replaces our feelings of condemnation and shame with compassion toward ourselves. Our spirituality is not just about our relationship with God; it is also dependent on how we treat others. Our false self is the selfish part that does not nurture relationships but demands self-glorification.

Emotional care is a central aspect of spirituality. Pray for the wisdom to address emotional angst in your life and the lives of others so you are better able to bury the false self. Embrace your emotions as part of the process of spiritual growth. When your emotions get the best of you, rather than despair, seek the Spirit’s help and guidance. God wants to heal not just our souls but also our hearts and minds. Just reach out with our true selves!