What’s Not in My Toolbox Might Surprise You
Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart. (Proverbs 11:29)
Yesterday, I wrote a devotion entitled, “What’s In Your Toolbox?” The toolbox isn’t the one in your garage, but the emotional toolbox that supplies the tools necessary for you to fix life’s challenges as they arise. My emotional and spiritual toolbox includes prayer, guided meditation, reading books and articles, and the church community. What was interesting about yesterday’s article is what was not included in my toolbox.
I struggled about whether to put my family in my toolbox. My wife, daughter, son-in-law and two grandsons bring me joy. They provide my life with meaning and their love gives me strength. So, why would I choose to leave those I love most out of my emotional and spiritual toolbox? After time in contemplation, I decided that it was inappropriate to visualize, let alone actually treat those I love most as tools. Even though emotional and spiritual wellbeing are vital for a healthy life, so is a healthy relationship with those you love.
My fear in putting my family in my toolbox is that I begin to see them as someone for my benefit or someone I can use for my satisfaction. A family may provide benefits and satisfaction, but that should not be the primary motivation. Otherwise, when they do not fix a situation or my feelings, they can become dispensable. Tools are dispensable, because if another tool can perform the task better, we replace the old tool. With family, replacement should not be an option. Family is our foundation, given and blessed by God. Family is a gift that we sacrifice for, not persons who are expected to meet our needs or fix us.
Today, prayerfully consider how you perceive your family. Are they there to meet your needs or are you offering yourself to them as a gift? Is your family worthy of your attention if they meet your needs? Each of us is inclined to answer passionately that we do not expect our loved ones to selfishly meet our needs, but we are sinful beings and our actions, on occasion, betray our best intentions. Honestly thinking through our feelings and actions toward our family can help shine a light on our motivations. Looking closely on our history with our family can help burn away the impurities sinful errors and move us back to a loving, sacrificial, and self-less love that we desire for our loved ones, and desire for ourselves. We must model faithful loving if we expect it in return.