Iowa Nice Ain’t Enough
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
I’ve lived in many different states in this country, and each one thought they were nice. (I’ve obviously never lived in New York City.) For the last 25 years, I’ve lived in Iowa, and I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the phrase, “Iowa nice.” You would get thousands of different answers if you asked all three million Iowans what Iowa Nice means. Recognizing what nice does and does not mean is essential to live Iowa nice.
Some believe nice means being polite, but nice requires more than being pleasant. We are only capable of being nice if we are nice to ourselves. Emily Cook, PhD, in her article “You’re not as nice as you think you are,” declares, “Good neighbors build strong fences. Good colleagues have boundaries.” We can be nice because we know there are expectations of appropriate conduct. Rules provide a safe place in which to care for and support others. Without clear and safe boundaries, people remain guarded, defensive, and quickly become mean. Our present society often defies rules and expectations for conduct, and blurs boundaries. Hence, we shouldn’t be surprised to see that society seems less hospitable today.
Next, Dr. Cook affirms that our main life goal is not creating peace but integrity. Conflict feels uncomfortable at best and can be gut-wrenching. Yet, conflict is inevitable and can even be beneficial. Peace is occasional, but integrity is the means to thrive in conflict. Dr. Cook continues by warning us not to be too passive as a means of avoidance. “Our passivity evolved as a protective shield.” It takes courage, honed by integrity, that brings lasting peace in a challenging world. Dr. Cook concludes by encouraging us to be more than nice. We are to care, which is more transformative and Christ-like than just being nice.
Today, think about what it means to be “nice.” What are its limitations? Prayerfully ask God to call you to be better than nice. Instead, be compassionate within clear boundaries. Being nice to a hungry child and walking away without providing food is little comfort. Being compassionate to the hungry child by providing sustenance for the moment and trying to provide for the child’s future makes us worthy of God’s call for our lives. Be more than nice, be compassionate and responsive, and do so in Christ’s name.