Transforming Parenthood
“And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.“ (Ephesians 6:4)
As many times as I’ve read Ephesians, I never realized the miraculous words in this verse until today. The preceding verses talk about children obeying their parents. The father is called to “not provoke your children to anger.” Considering a child’s feelings would have been shocking to the early Church and the rest of the Roman Empire. Scholar William Barclay said, “...a Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves, he could make them work in his fields even in chains, he could take the law into his own hands, for the law was in his own hands, and punish as he liked, he could even inflict the death penalty on his child. Further, the power of the Roman father extended over the child’s whole life, so long as the father lived.” The new faith of Christianity expected fathers to not only treat their children with care but to avoid their “anger.” Radical!
The Christian faith was genuinely radical. Husbands must treat their wives with dignity; now, children should be treated thoughtfully. You can hear a group of 1st-century Roman men sitting around saying, “What is this world coming to?” These statements seem normal now, but two thousand years ago, they were shocking. In these letters, the Apostle Paul is often treated with disdain because he seems to treat women as second-class citizens. The critics' literal argument is highly unfair. We shouldn’t be judging the Biblical writers with a 21st-century ethic. Even Jesus was a product of his culture.
What we can take from this verse is that God is continually at work, calling people to transform their relationships in more loving and respectful ways. Two thousand years ago, there was a problem with fathers abusing their children, or at the very least, treating them inappropriately. The faithful were now called to change how they related to their families. What could be more intimately challenging than that?!
Throughout history, God continually calls us to become more supportive and loving as our culture transforms. When I was growing up, “Spare the rod and spoil the child” was the most famous child-rearing phrase. I was personally aware of many friends who were beaten; some even went to school with fresh scars. Friends, family, and even schools at that time often believed that this was a private, family matter. Thank goodness our way of being a family continues to transform in more beneficial ways.
Today, think about how you were raised. Then, if you are a parent, contemplate how you were educated or are raising your child(ren). What has changed over the years? In what ways have parenting practices improved? Should you reconsider any practices? Then, think about the more significant ethical issues that have changed. Then, pray for God’s wisdom that we will continually transform our actions more faithfully and lovingly.
This Devotion was originally written in September of 2017.