Stressed for the Holidays
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)
The holidays can be a challenging time. Expectations are high, and patience is in short supply. This year, Covid is only surpassed by RSV and Influenza. But, if you are stressed out and run down, you are in good company. In her article “A Therapist’s Guide To Staying Calm During Family Holidays,” Carolyn Steber reminds us, “The key is to try to be mindful of when your stress rises so you can take the necessary steps to care for yourself.” The first step is to recognize your feelings. They will soon overwhelm you if you cannot identify and name your emotions.
Steber’s second recommendation is to “Set Boundaries.” Give and sacrifice, but set limits. Setting limits is easier said than done, especially when the family is testing your boundaries. Yet, not setting your boundaries will make you resentful, which isn’t helpful for anyone. Articulate your desires, and you might find others longing for the same limits.
Another piece of advice Steber offers is to “Know When To Leave.” You do not need to be the last one to exit the party. Instead, make an appearance, visit, try the dessert, and then respectfully say “goodbye.” While making your appearance, if the conversation becomes uncomfortable or inappropriate, Steber advises us to “Change The Topic.” Odds are you are not the only one feeling awkward, and others will probably jump into the conversation and help you move in a safer direction.
Finally, Steber recommends we “Don’t Force It.” When stressed, most of us try to force a positive outcome. Will we ever learn? Steber quotes Tony Mosier “Special holiday moments often happen when you aren’t trying, after all, so be present and try enjoying the chaos.” Remember, this moment in time isn’t the rest of your life. You have endured worse and survived. God has given you the wisdom and maturity to retain your integrity. Offer the mess to God and trust that you and the Holy Spirit will make it work out.