Slow Down on Oversharing

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! (Psalm 141:3)

I am an extrovert. I think out loud. Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with oversharing. There are moments when it is good to trust others with confidential information, but there are also times when privacy is appropriate and necessary. Privacy is at a premium in this age of Facebook, TikTok, and other social media outlets. Therefore, learning what is good to share and what is important to hold close to the vest is essential.

The article “On Oversharing” by Nadya Utami warns, “Oversharing is like impulsively getting a tattoo, a good idea at the time, but not always easy to get rid of.” What we offer to others cannot be taken back. What we share defines us, and poor sharing decisions will add up to embarrassment and can diminish us in our own eyes and those of others. Utami says, “While it feels refreshing to learn that we’re valuing honesty over calculated perfection, the idea that you should own your story has led to some confusion.”

I understand that society has changed, and we are often more publicly open than we’ve been previously. Yet, just because it has become the norm doesn’t mean it is beneficial. Utami explains, “I think oversharing isn’t really defined by what you share to the world. It’s explained by how fluent you’re taking your own boundaries and claiming your own worth when you share and also reminding yourself in your mind that we can’t control others’ reactions.” When we share, we assume people will understand and repeat our thoughts correctly. Often, this does not happen. Others regularly translate our words to meet their needs, sometimes at our expense.

Setting boundaries creates an environment of self-respect where others will receive clarity about who you are and what you believe. Today, ask God to challenge you in moments when you want to overshare, to question your motivation as to why sharing would benefit you or the listener. Prayerfully strive to learn how to speak clearly, while not sharing in a way that will hurt you or others. The one place you can never overshare is in prayer. God is the one listener who will not betray your trust and who will forgive you if you say something you shouldn’t. Speak to God , and you should lessen the desire to overshare.