The Healing Power of Conversation
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. (James 3:13)
In Sunday’s sermon, I shared the challenges children and youth face. My heart breaks as I ponder Marie Holmes’ HuffPost article, “The 1 Thing That Child Therapists Say Harms Kids’ Happiness The Most.” I shared Holmes’ quote from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “It found that the number of high schoolers reporting ‘such persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in the past year that they couldn’t participate in their regular activities’ rose 40% between 2009 and 2019, and the number who had considered suicide rose 36%.” Even more horrifying, the research concluded before COVID hit and painfully disrupted “normal” life.
Addressing the demanding challenge of caring for our young is tough but not impossible. Holmes calls us to be a non-anxious presence and normalize emotions by listening without judgment. Child psychologist Jennifer Cruz asserts, “Shielding children from stress and tough emotions may keep them from developing resilience and make future challenges tougher.” “Expect that your child will absolutely have a range of emotions in a happy life.” Happiness isn’t about feeling bliss every second of every day. Instead, happiness is being present with people and situations with emotional maturity. You can be holistically happy while mourning and suffering.
Further, Holmes calls us to “Have daily conversations with your children.” Having conversations with your children requires creativity and persistence. When our daughter was growing up, we created a home environment where communication with mom and dad was an expectation rather than a choice. I am pleased to witness our daughter and her husband making the same commitment to their children. Familial talk will become natural and consequential when you treat meaningful conversation as a household requirement and do it in fun and non-threatening ways.
Holmes confirms that these conversations will provide opportunities for modeling how adults look at the world realistically and maturely. For example, she affirms practicing gratitude with your children. Child psychologist Cruz asserts, ‘When we as parents practice our own gratitude, that can go a long way to help children develop an appreciation for what they have and who they are.” We can only share and discuss faith, values, and care with our young people through intentional conversation times. Pray for God to give you the divine wisdom and commitment to speak with our children and grandchildren with deliberate support and love that will provide emotional and spiritual healing and wholeness.