No Room for Self-Loathing
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Christians have not always walked the fine line between healthy guilt that calls one to repentance and better behavior and damaging shame that leads to self-loathing. Destructive guilt leaves one with a self-destructive attitude that often leads to addictions and can create suicidal ideation. Sadly, Christianity has too frequently emphasized guilt to retain control over the masses at the expense of divine hope and joy, which should be our mission.
Austin Kleon, in his famous book, Keep Going, recommends, “When the sun goes down and you look back on the day, go easy on yourself. A little self-forgiveness goes a long way.” Kleon continues with some meaningful advice, “Before you go to bed, make a list of anything you did accomplish, and write down a list of what you want to get done tomorrow. Then forget about it. Hit the pillow with a clear mind. Let your subconscious work on stuff while you’re sleeping.” Often, a day that felt painful, awkward, or wasted can become an incredible blessing after a night of subconscious reflection.
Feelings are important, and we should never attempt to stop feeling. The challenge is to remain in control of those emotions so that we can reflect on our actions. Listing to our feelings and actions helps us consciously and subconsciously ponder and allows the Holy Spirit time to speak in quiet moments when we are awake and asleep. I’ve known people who recommend leaving a pen and paper on the nightstand and writing down the night's dreams before your feet even hit the floor in the morning. Making lists for reflection helps us more clearly and fairly evaluate our actions and those around us.
Today, pray for your attitude toward yourself and life, in general, to become more hopeful. Do not let yourself be bullied by your inner voice. God made you for a purpose, and that purpose is more brutal to achieve when you regularly despair. Instead, create lists of activities within your day, which helps you truthfully visualize your day’s activities. Your moment of reflection opens the door to the Spirit to enter and guide your day’s reflection before unhealthy guilt takes hold. God desires positive change and not inner abuse.
