Learning From Our Doubt
Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’ (John 20:27)
Christianity has often treated doubt as a spiritual abnormality. In the name of religious integrity, we push our doubts down into the depths of our psyche in the hope they will disappear. What are we scared to face? Job doubted, Abraham doubted, Thomas doubted, and the list goes on. Yet, God does not condemn these Biblical icons for their doubt but guides them through it to a deeper level of understanding and trust.
Understanding doubt influences our vision of who the divine One is and how God relates to us. If doubt is a sin and unacceptable, then God's love is conditional, and we should remain scared of disappointing the Almighty Deity. Yet, God was patient with Job's pain and frustration amid horrific suffering. Abraham doubted why he had to sacrifice his son Isaac. Thomas couldn't believe the one standing in front of the other Apostles, and he was the risen Christ. Regardless, our Triune God was patient in each example and did not cancel the relationship.
When we read the Bible, a vital aspect of our task is putting ourselves into the Biblical characters' shoes. The Holy Spirit calls upon our empathy as we read and digest the Biblical stories. We are to wonder if we could be as manipulative as King David, having Moriah killed so he could take his wife. Would our doubt make us deny Jesus three times as Peter did in Jerusalem? Could we be as calm as Jesus as we carried our cross to Golgotha?
Today, prayerfully embrace your doubt by considering examples that leave you wondering. Are you left with a level of uncomfortable guilt or spiritual instability? Rather than deny your feelings, try to embrace the feelings of the Apostle Thomas as he moves from shame to acceptance to embracing love. Next, through your empathy, embrace the emotions of acceptance in your doubt that God gave Abraham, Job, David, Thomas, and so many others. You are equally accepted and loved by the Almighty One.