Facing Loss with Hope
Written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.””
When our daughter Hannah was little, she used to play by herself for hours. She told stories with her dolls or her massive number of tiny Happy Meal Toys. Yet, she would stop her play if she thought my wife or I were leaving the house. Hannah didn’t always need us to entertain her or even be in the same room. We could be downstairs while she was upstairs in her room. She just needed to know we were in the house, and she felt safe and content.
When someone we love and count on dies, our sense of safety and contentment is taken from us, it is hard to work, concentrate, or play when that person isn’t there to make us feel secure. Part of the grief process is acknowledging the security taken and seeking to find a way forward with renewed hope.
In dealing with grief, there is no timetable. You cannot flip a switch or wave a magic wand. The way forward is to move through the pain and loss. Finding new ways of feeling safe can be overwhelming at first. Rather than emotionally shutting down, it is vital to reach out to those who remain in your life—finding friends, family, &/or neighbors who can be your comfort and security and is vital. Do not expect life to be the way it was before. Instead, expect a life that can remain meaningful even when different.
Finally, it is essential to nurture your faith in God while life feels whole as a person of faith. When your spiritual life is strong, even a painful loss will not let you feel all alone. If your spiritual life is strong and you feel the presence of God, when you experience loss, you will still be able to feel God in your life. The pain of loss will remain, but the sense of aloneness will not be as acute. Knowing the feeling of God’s presence will help provide the courage and security to be alone again comfortably. Through God’s presence, you will be able to play again.
