Did I Nurture Anxiety with My Ambition?

For what does it profit a person if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? (Luke 9:25)

I started reading an article in New York magazine because I thought it would validate my conviction. Instead, Amil Niazi's article, "Why Do Kids Need Ambition?" cut me off at the knees. I am a strong proponent of nurturing a child's ambition. When our daughter Hannah was in 9th grade, we started visiting colleges on vacations. We had a great time going to sporting events, talking to college students, and discussing what might be in the future. Those experiences stoked her ambition and expanded her vision.

Niazi's perspective is different from mine. He says, "I'm more focused on the kind of person they want to be. Are they empathetic and aware of others' feelings? Do they take care of the environment around them and understand that they're connected to a community bigger than just themselves and their family? Do they feel safe expressing themselves wholly and sharing that with the people around them? Are they kind?"

Niazi and I are not that far apart. With the church's help, we tried to address the issues Niazi describes with our daughter. Perhaps the question is how our encouraging ambition creates unfair anxiety. We may have been guilty of pushing Hannah too hard, creating anxiety. Our encouraging ambition and the impact of increased anxiety is a question only our daughter can answer. A young person needs ambition to get excited about life. A little anxiety is necessary to learn how to face and address it healthily. Yet, too much anxiety negatively affects one's ability to thrive.

I want to thank Amil Niazi for forcing me to reflect further on the necessary balance between nurturing ambition and creating anxiety. If you are a parent, you should struggle with the issue of ambition and anxiety as well. Pray for the wisdom to encourage ambition and excitement in your child's life while not forcing their stress levels to be too unhealthy. Remember, whatever you do will not be perfect, but young people are resilient, and the Holy Spirit is good at fixing our shortcomings.