DARE to Shed Shame
Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot. (Isaiah 61:7)
Too often in Christian history, shame has been used as a tool for control. Instead of sin providing direction to renewed faith, sin was employed as a weapon to hurt and kill one’s body, mind, and soul. If you didn’t follow the community’s values or desires, shame controlled or manipulated you. Even the slightest infractions were met with emotionally and spiritually crippling consequences. Sadly, shame is not a tool of the Messiah. Jesus did not affirm shame.
In “Why Shame Doesn’t Work,” Devon Price explains why shame doesn’t deliver. Price provides the D.A.R.E. program and its call “To Resist Drugs and Violence” as an example of why shaming others does not work. “D.A.R.E. provided a straightforward and personal answer to addiction: Always make the right decisions. Resist the evil temptation. Set yourself apart from other people by deciding to do good.” D.A.R.E. was simplistic in its implementation. Price continues, “D.A.R.E. did not acknowledge how factors like poverty, trauma, chronic pain, or unemployment contribute to substance use, or the role of pharmaceutical companies have played in getting people dependent upon barbituates and later, opioids.”
Why did the well-funded D.A.R.E. program fail? The shame embedded in their description undermined their goal of making lasting change. Price confirms that “Shame Makes the Forbidden Seem More Alluring.” Tell a child not to press the red button; it is all they can think about. Next, Price asserts, “Shame Halts Preventative Care.” Once people believe they are unworthy of healing, they lose the will to try. Next, Price asserts, “Shame Freezes Us.” Instead of thinking through a process of healing, shame leaves us with diminished energy or will to improve.
Finally, “Shame Isolates Us.” Our shame makes us feel as if we are different and not as good as anyone else. The feelings and images that shame produces are antithetical to the Biblical calling. Today, focus on each of Price’s descriptions of shame’s destructive force. Then, consider how the Messiah gives us the grace and mercy to overcome shame with the gift of value and worthiness. Giving or accepting shame is not Jesus’ intention. Instead, DARE to embrace God’s love and acceptance.