Couples: What Not to Do
However, let each one of you love your spouse, and let the couple respect each other.
(Ephesians 5:33)
Protestants do not call marriage a sacrament because the reformation theologians affirmed that Jesus did not command marriage as a faith requirement. Yet, marriage remains a sacred act for people of faith. The challenge is, marriage is tough to sustain over a lifetime, with over half ending in divorce. Therefore, a good marriage should prioritize the relationship, no matter how long they’ve been together.
Nick Wignall wrote an article called “5 Things Happy Couples Don’t Do”, and it caught my eye. Wignall claims, “creating a happy relationship is often about what you do less of, not more of.” Wignall warns that gossiping about your partner erodes trust, which is the backbone of any strong relationship. Wignall reminds us that “keeping score in the relationship” can also further separate the couple. A relationship should not be a competition for who has made the made the most personal sacrifices or who has done the most chores. All couples are one being, and keeping score rots the holy union.
Wignall’s third recommendation caught me by surprise. He suggests we should not be focusing too much on our kids. Over the long haul, you and your children will suffer if your relationship with your spouse weakens or, worse, falls apart completely. A strong marriage provides a loving example for your children and keeps the family tightly knit. When mom and dad’s relationship is strong, a united front remains intact. A united couple doesn’t feel the need to avoid difficult conversations either, something Wignall also mentioned in his article.
Wignall withheld his fifth “thing”, so I will add mine: “Not taking time to worship and pray together.” When you invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage, the family works in sync, and no challenge is too overwhelming because we do not face our situations alone. So today, pray for couples as they face life’s challenges. Trust God to mold weaknesses and provide new opportunities for learning, growth, and love.