The Pathway to Healthy Self-Confidence
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
Self-confidence is a two-edged sword. Confidence is necessary to achieve our goals. Confidence also feels good because it includes less second-guessing. Yet, confidence can be dangerous. Like anything, too much of a good thing is terrible. Overconfidence produces poor decisions, loss of relationships, and a warped sense of personal reality. Learning to nurture confidence without falling into the over-confidence trap is a lifelong process of maturity and self-improvement.
In “The Confident Mind,” Dr. Nate Zinsser reminds us, “Most people would certainly not decide to be confident and positive about their future when confronted with such a horrible situation. Most people only allow themselves to feel confident when good things are happening.” Confidence only when things go well makes our value contingent on circumstances and other people’s affirmation.
Confidence does not require perfection. Instead, according to Dr. Zinsser, confidence in any field or activity “requires both confidence AND competence.” None of us will be successful all the time and in every situation. We are not born confident. “Instead, confidence is learned.” Confidence is learned from our successes but is also from our shortcomings. It takes courage and breeds confidence when reflecting on our mistakes and failures. Simply reflecting on our lives is an act of confidence building.
Today may be difficult and even painful for you. We are in the season of Lent, and self-reflection is part of the divine command. Take time to reflect on the areas of your life when you feel confident. Next, consider the moments when your confidence wanes. Finally, prayerfully look at your shortcomings. Pondering our weaknesses, especially when you include the Holy Spirit, allows for emotional and spiritual growth and nurtures our confidence. The process is worth your effort.