Walking Through Death to Life
He heals the brokenhearted and saved the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
Jill and I have been binge-watching an Amazon Prime show, “Night Watch,” starring Sissy Spacek. I will not give away much in case you haven’t watched it yet. The show is about a retired couple whose son died, and it does a painfully good job of expressing their pain and how they support and irritate each other. Their struggle reminds me that all of us have our crosses to bear. I’ve provided spiritual support to thousands of families throughout my ministry. I’ve learned that no one is rich, wise, or faithful enough to avoid deep suffering at specific life moments.
The Night Watch retired mother blamed herself for her son’s death. She would punish herself by thinking she didn’t deserve to be happy. Her grief was killing her, until she found a new reason to live. Like this woman, we often reprimand ourselves in horribly painful ways by diminishing ourselves. We invalidate ourselves in various ways, like torturing ourselves even though we cannot return and fix the problem. We abuse ourselves by withholding food or poisoning ourselves with excessive alcohol consumption and other self-destructive actions.
The worst form of self-abuse is to diminish ourselves to the degree that we do not believe we are loveable, even to God. It is easier to abuse ourselves when we fool ourselves into thinking we are unworthy. Instead of trying to change her self-talk or some other self-help expression, the Night Watch woman threw herself into helping others. It was making a difference in others’ lives that saved her own life.
When our moments of horrific pain strike, learn from Sissy Spacek’s character. Prayer, therapy, and other forms of support are essential but do not forget the importance of bringing life to others. Life is the only balm that can heal the angry wound when you feel loss. If there isn’t anyone in need of your assistance now, pray for the opportunity to care. Then, keep your eyes and ears open because God will bring a person to you for care and healing. Trust God to use even imperfect old you and me.