Protecting Your Value
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. (Psalm 139:13-15)
Working on your self-esteem is not selfish or arrogant. Confidence in ourselves and decision-making is necessary for productive employment, meaningful relationships, and healthy parenting. God calls us to remain humble and confident to fulfill what God has in store for our lives.
In “5 Bad Habits Destroying Your Self-Esteem,” Nick Wignall addresses interesting ways our vital self-worth can be diminished. No one is going to fight for your self-image except you. For Wignall, the first thing we must stop doing is “Staying busy all the time.” When we feel insecure, we try to work harder to prove our worth to others. Constant busyness keeps us from thinking through the process of our actions, undermining our confidence.
Another negative signal Wignall describes is “Hypercriticism.” He states, “Criticizing others is often a subtle defense mechanism designed to make us feel better about ourselves.” How many times has a stressful day caused me to become overly irritated with other drivers on the road? Turning my anger on other drivers somehow makes me feel better. Focusing on other people’s issues somehow makes me feel better in the short term. In the long run, it leads to guilt because of our overreactions.
Finally, I want to raise Wignall’s concern regarding “Reassurance-seeking.” We all want affirmation and the recognition that we are appreciated for our actions. Affirmation is harmful when our emotions depend on how others speak of us. When our values are based on what others say, we lose control of our identity. That is idolatry. The only ones who should control your self-worth are yourself and God. Today, reflect on how busy you are and why. Then, monitor how critical you are to others and yourself. Take this moment to pray for your self-worth and commitment to personal growth. You will feel strong and be a better servant of the God who wants the best for you.