Do Not Give Away Your Self-Esteem
And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the named of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:11)
In his article, “Understanding this keeps you fearless around people,” Alex Mathers states, “Self-esteem is an illusion.” Then Mathers clarifies, “More appropriately, perhaps-a delusion.” If you are emotionally healthy, you have questioned whether you suffer from low self-esteem more than once. None of us are perfect, and all self-aware people question their abilities from time to time. Questioning can be a positive experience if it causes us to make healthy life changes. On the other hand, our questioning can be damaging when we inappropriately decide we are somehow unacceptable.
According to Mathers, low or high self-esteem is a delusion because “The mere fact that our perception of ourselves can vary so dramatically, and so subtly, depending on our environment, tells us that it simply does not exist.” Our feelings toward ourselves in a given moment are just that; feelings. Feelings and facts often differ. Mathers continues, “It is a delusion that makes us believe in one very harmful falsehood: Our environment determines our worth.” This last statement is blatantly untrue. Others are no better than us and do not have the right or wisdom to determine our worth.
Others are not only worthy of determining our worth, but more importantly, others cannot influence our worth. Only our thoughts and decisions determine our identity. Mathers affirms, “The only thing that makes me think I lack confidence are my thoughts. That’s it. Ideas in my mind that I create.” When we habitually believe we are unfit, it is our decision, consciously made several times per day, year after year. Mathers believes, “To be free of a bad habit, replace it with a good one.” Defining ourselves as not good enough is a habit that we must break by replacing it with positive habits.
Today, use the habit of prayer to multiply good practices within your life. The Christian faith is a series of rituals that define us and how we view ourselves. Weekly worship, honoring God, is a worthy habit. Looking for ways to care for others in God’s name is a profound habit. Each practice opens our souls to the movement of the Holy Spirit, which redefines our attitude, feelings, and self-esteem. Mathers does not believe the environment defines self-esteem. I agree that other people cannot define us. Only we can define ourselves. Yet, through the experience of Scripture, the example of Jesus, and the movement of the Holy Spirit, God can properly determine who we are in this world. We are children of the most high God, making us worthy. Our self—esteem comes from humble obedience to our loving, restorative God.