A Bad Day with a Hockey Stick

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. (Philippians 3:13)

Because we are imperfect beings, there are numerous regrets we must live with each day. Some regrets ease with time, while others never completely heal. One example of a regret that has eased over 20 years but remains cringeworthy every time my daughter reminds me of the mistake. (And she reminds me of it often!) Hannah was in first or second grade, and we played rollerblade hockey. We would each take turns playing goalie. The significant rule was “we do not lift the puck.” We played a lot and never had a problem until one day, I got sloppy, and the puck flew about a foot above the ground. Not ordinarily a problem, except when Hannah slipped and fell. With divine Paczkowski timing, her eye and the puck connected perfectly. She looked like she got cold-cocked by Mike Tyson in his prime. If you did the math, the odds of that puck hitting her eye were a billion to one. Yet, that is Paczkowski luck!

I can still hear the crack as it hits her face. Gail Cornwall can help me through my guilt in her article, “Got Regrets?” Cornwall starts by expecting us to “Admit It.” Instead, when people asked what happened, she would say, “Daddy did it.” I visualized jail time, so instead of lying, we instructed Hannah to say, “Daddy did it with a hockey puck. Accidentally!” which addresses the second recommendation, “Nail Down the “Why.” It was accidental while playing roller hockey.

Next, we move from the short-term and begin addressing the long-term emotional response. “Look Forward,” beyond the pain, to a better future. “Each time a regret pops up, show yourself compassion, and over time, you’ll learn to take the sting out of those memories.” Cornwall’s quote helps us address the following statement, “Practice Self-Compassion.” As followers of Christ, we are called to forgive and show compassion. You are acting unfaithfully if you do not offer the same forgiveness and compassion for yourself.

Finally, “Reframe It.” Most times, a regrettable situation may still have positive outcomes. I was more careful playing with young Hannah after that hockey experience. Young Hannah learned to overcome adversity and how to forgive her father. I learned to forgive myself and acknowledge the difference between unintentional mistakes and bad parenting attitudes. Today, pray for yourself that you will learn from your prior mistakes and regrets. When you wallow in your regrets, you are crippling your ability to make a positive difference in the world around you. If you live a meaningful life, you will have regrets. Keep moving forward with wisdom, forgiveness, and love.