Be Comfortable With Yourself
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7)
How do I know when I am comfortable in my skin? I’ve never been a laid-back fellow, but do you have to act like a stoner to be satisfied with yourself? No! I am an unapologetic type-A personality. I’ve never been great at relaxing and sitting still. I had a sixth-grade teacher that tried everything from sticking me in a corner to making me write pages of the dictionary to force me to sit still in class. She failed! Yet, fidgeting and striving do not preclude me from being comfortable with myself.
In his article, “If you’re not totally happy in your own skin, read this,” Alex Mathers describes people who are uncomfortable with themselves as those who are “guarded, hesitant, reticent, fearful and frustrated.” We all experience these feelings sometimes, but for those who are uncomfortable in their own skin, these feelings are felt regularly or even most of the time. Uncomfortable persons emphasize the opinion of others instead of their evaluation and acceptance. Uncomfortable people also put pressure on themselves to act differently. According to Mathers, these actions place undue stress on us that makes us even more “closed and nervous.”
Being comfortable in your own skin occurs when the image of oneself aligns with your life's direction. If one has a studio painter’s soul but does not have time to create because work life is too demanding, one quickly becomes uncomfortable with oneself. Mathers recommends recognizing and addressing the things that “suck the life out of (you).” Using your creativity to find meaningful ways to work around life-sucking situations and persons. In my ministry, I was spending so much time performing administrative tasks I was not available enough for pastoral care and mission activities that fed my soul. We hired a Chief of Staff, which freed me to support the congregation and community I find meaningful. I am still responsible for staff and administration, but our Chief of Staff does the lion's share of the work, and I evaluate and participate in decision-making.
Today, sit down and consider how the perfect you would look and feel. Then, consider if what you believe is perfect is appropriate for you. While I might think I want to be laid back like Sean Penn’s character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. You don’t have to be a “gnarly dude” to feel comfortable in your own skin. When you appreciate the self God created you to be, you are less nervous and uncomfortable and more relaxed, open, and creative. Relax, practice accepting yourself as God has accepted you. Then, you can be comfortable in your own skin even if you are as wired as I am!